Friday, April 30, 2010

Goldman slides on the slippery slope of irrevelance

Oh My!!!

Goldman has give Fab his performance rating!

FABRICE TOURRE--Self Evaluation week ending April 30, 2010                                                              

And the market has given Goldman it's performance rating!!

Oh My!!

And now, Goldman is already leaking "settlement." Really? Did they leak the "criminal charge" story too?

Maybe Goldman should really ask who is doing the leaking? Because they don't seem to know piss!
Wanted – People to Pee on Goldman Sachs – $20 (Financial District)
Date: 2010-03-12, 12:33PM EST
Reply to:
Wait--didn't Goldman tell us this two weeks ago?
NEW YORK–(BUSINESS WIRE)–The Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. (NYSE: GS – News) responds to a complaint filed by the SEC today.
The SEC’s charges are completely unfounded in law and fact and we will vigorously contest them and defend the firm and its reputation.
Oh My! How did that work out? Did Goldman come up with that call from their trading huddle? $21 billion later in lost market cap--will they still vigorously defend the firm? And its storied reputation? How is that working out? Maybe they really don't have a reputation to defend!

Or how about David Viniar? Remember him, and his response to the"shitty" email in the Congressional hearings?

He makes "Slick Willie" look dull by comparison. But then, again, maybe he and Goldman have screwed more people!

What was his response to the question? Well, in all fairness,  maybe it was because he couldn't count the toilets in his house, but he said that "shitty" "depends on how you mean it" and then he said, in reply to questioning, that when, Goldman's own people said the deal was :shitty" he said "I think that was very unfortunate to have on email."

See it. Watch it. Hear it. From his own shitty mouth!

Maybe some folks from Goldman need to share a stainless shitter!

So Mr. Viniar, while you are sitting on the cold stainless seat, remember when Goldman Sachs blew up their Global Equity Opportunities Fund? Anyone remember that? Let me go over the details of this shitty deal, because this fund, was another warehouse for Goldman's dreck.

In August of 2007, this fund needed a $3 billion cash infusion, to keep it afloat. So Goldman put in $2 billion, and they got Ace Greenberg and Eli Broad to ante up to make it $3 billion.

Now let me give you a timeline in this disaster. Remember that in July of 2007, after Paulson had shorted Abacus with Goldman's help, that Paulson's fund returned 75% that month. 

Now how did Goldman's Global Equity Opportunity Fund do in July of 2007? The same month Paulson's short fund went up 75%?

Aug. 13 (Bloomberg) -- Goldman Sachs Group Inc., the most profitable securities firm and second-largest hedge-fund manager, will invest about $2 billion to shore up its Global Equity Opportunities Fund after a 28 percent decline this month.

It dropped 28%! But Goldman said it was just a failed quant strategy!And what else did Goldman say? They said, "Current values that the market is assigning to the assets underlying various funds represent a discount that is not supported by the fundamentals."

Was that just another misrepresentation by Goldman? Really?

Even though Goldman was shorting the hell out of everything they could get their hands on, even though they were rigging deals to screw banks out of money, even though they were buying protection from anyone they could, and even though they were shuffling their shit, into GEO to screw their investors.

Think about that. It was a $7 billion fund? It was leveraged 3-6X. That means you  can offload a lot of Goldman's dreck to someone else! After all, didn't they just help Paulson to do that? Does anyone ever wonder how Goldman's clients do so poorly, why Goldman does so well? Goldman's clients, are its pigeons! And lest you think otherwise, why did a Goldman spokesperson say that the market's marks were misaligned? What good is a fund to Goldman, if they can't trade against it, or offload their shit to somebody else?

Because last I looked, in 2009 Goldman did a billion in fees biz, a billion in underwriting, and $17 billion trading against their clients! But they call that just making "markets!"

And then, coincidentally, after Goldman put their cash into the fund, and only after they had made some frantic and furious phone whereby it was relayed by Ben Bernanke  to Secretary Paulson, who then filled in Goldman that a discount rate cut was coming! And then, on option expiration Friday, on August 17th, Bernanke cuts the discount rates on option expiration Friday on August 17, 2007 right before the open, and only 10 days after the Fed said this:

For immediate release

The Federal Open Market Committee decided today to keep its target for the federal funds rate at 5-1/4 percent.

Now look what Karl Denninger had to say on August 17! He was talking language even Viniar could understand!

Flipout Friday!
Amazing shit here guys.
Bernanke. You gotta love the stupidity in the markets, and you really have to have respect for just how stupid Ben Bernanke is.

Cramer had this reaction:

Six days later after the FOMC decides to leave rates alone, Goldman needs to stuff a couple billion in a fund that they have buried their dreck in, that their unwitting patsy institutions took. Then miraculously, just four days after their investment, and just 10 days after the Fed said they didn't need to cut rates, the Fed cuts.

Now when did Goldman yank the money out that they put in this fund (GEO)? The day the six month lock-up expired! Wait--Viniar told us it wasn't a rescue--it was because of the opportunities available!

Goldman reclaims most of $2bn rescue funds
By James Mackintosh in London and Ben White in New York
Published: March 26 2008 22:04 | Last updated: March 26 2008 22:04

Goldman Sachs has reclaimed 90 per cent of the $2bn it used to bail out one of its troubled hedge funds last summer as the investment bank moved to shrink the fund and avoid consolidating it on its balance sheet.

Goldman withdrew $1.8bn from its Global Equity Opportunities fund at the end of February, its first opportunity under a lock-up agreement made when it invested in August, according to people familiar with the quantitative, or computer-driven, fund. It wrote to investors last week to explain its decision but declined to comment on Wednesday.

So what does this have to do with David Viniar? Well, look at his response to questions, when he was asked about the leverage in the fund, after it lost 28% in July, just six months before Goldman yanked out their money, and rigfht after Goldman decided to "rescue" the fund, they help drown!

"No, let me just clarify. This is not a rescue. This is two things. First, given the dislocation in the markets, we believe that this is a good investment opportunity for us and the other investors that we have brought in. We also think at the same time this will be very helpful to the current fund investors because it will give the fund the wherewithal to also take advantage of these market opportunities.

"And so we think it is both of those things but not a rescue."

So it was an investment and not a rescue? Was that true? Goldman withdrew their money the very first day after the lock-up.  So let's go to the conference call, led by David Viniar, so we can get just a little better explanation:

Susan Katzke, Credit Suisse:
Okay. And just I don't know if you covered this with Roger -- I might have missed it -- but in terms of the leverage in the funds, what are the leverage parameters, and where do you expect them to be going forward? Were they in retrospect a little bit higher than you would have liked them to have been or will be going forward?

David Viniar, Goldman Sachs CFO:
They were higher than we wished they were given how fast the market moved, but they were right in line with what had been expected. And the leverage at GEO as we sit here now is around 3.5 times, which is actually a little bit under where we had told people we would operate but probably around where we will operate going forward.

Susan Katzke, Credit Suisse:
Okay. And the 3.5 times just to clarify is with the $3 billion equity investment?

David Viniar, Goldman Sachs CFO:
With the equity investment.

Susan Katzke, Credit Suisse:
Okay. So closer to 6 times before that.

David Viniar, Goldman Sachs CFO:
That is correct.

Goldman's was in such a hurry to get rid of dreck off of their balance sheet, that they shoved it into their Global Equity Opportunity Fund, and leveraged it over 6 to 1 while they were at it.

Then, Goldman had to rescue the fund, (but they said it wasn't--it was an opportunity--It was an opportunity to cover up their misdealings!) because it was over-leveraged, but only after Goldman cohorts made their phone calls to Ben Bernanke and Paulson!

And then, David Viniar, tried to misrepresent Goldman's position, by saying that the fund was just 3.5X leveraged, when in fact, before Goldman's bailout, it was 6X leveraged, and that the underwater positions, they had, were just opportunities, when Goldman in fact, was shorting the piss out of everything they could that the fund owned!

And what happened to GEO? Goldman closed it at the end of 2009. They wanted those bodies buried.

So let's do an autopsy on GEO. Because this week, we heard, that Goldman, now wants to settle with the fund, that lost money on this "shitty" deal called Timberwolf:

He lost $56 million and Goldman wants to settle? How about the billions and billions they took from the institutions in GEO?  That served as a dumping ground for Goldman's dreck?

Why don't those funds ask for an autopsy? Why don't they sue? Then they'll see the self dealing that Goldman did. Because then, Goldman hadn't completely perfected the art of front running by computerized algorithms. They did things the old fashioned way. Using Slippery Simon's methods!

When Renaissance and Simon screwed investors, you got this picture.

Because then, the astrophysicists cooked up the scheme.

But Goldman? They are more traditional.

They put a suit on!

Do an autopsy on GEO, and Mr. Smug face, David Viniar, might start using a stainless toilet, along with the other folks from Goldman, who offloaded their positions into GEO.

And then, we'll see, that he, just like the other folks from Goldman, will inexplicably suffer from memory and recollection problems!

So give him a stainless toilet.

Maybe then he will use it to think!


whydibuy said...

amazing the head fake the market did with gs during the hearings.
up 2 points all day long while the broad market got clocked.

It is so sinister how the market guys play games with observers. Its as if they know to do the opposite of what people least for the moment.

Anonymous said...

i ask and u deliver. Sensational!

Sam said...

Did you lose any money in GEO? ;)

Anonymous said...

that is one great story!

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