Friday, April 30, 2010

Goldman slides on the slippery slope of irrevelance

Oh My!!!

Goldman has give Fab his performance rating!

FABRICE TOURRE--Self Evaluation week ending April 30, 2010                                                              

And the market has given Goldman it's performance rating!!

Oh My!!

And now, Goldman is already leaking "settlement." Really? Did they leak the "criminal charge" story too?

Maybe Goldman should really ask who is doing the leaking? Because they don't seem to know piss!
Wanted – People to Pee on Goldman Sachs – $20 (Financial District)
Date: 2010-03-12, 12:33PM EST
Reply to:
Wait--didn't Goldman tell us this two weeks ago?
NEW YORK–(BUSINESS WIRE)–The Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. (NYSE: GS – News) responds to a complaint filed by the SEC today.
The SEC’s charges are completely unfounded in law and fact and we will vigorously contest them and defend the firm and its reputation.
Oh My! How did that work out? Did Goldman come up with that call from their trading huddle? $21 billion later in lost market cap--will they still vigorously defend the firm? And its storied reputation? How is that working out? Maybe they really don't have a reputation to defend!

Or how about David Viniar? Remember him, and his response to the"shitty" email in the Congressional hearings?

He makes "Slick Willie" look dull by comparison. But then, again, maybe he and Goldman have screwed more people!

What was his response to the question? Well, in all fairness,  maybe it was because he couldn't count the toilets in his house, but he said that "shitty" "depends on how you mean it" and then he said, in reply to questioning, that when, Goldman's own people said the deal was :shitty" he said "I think that was very unfortunate to have on email."

See it. Watch it. Hear it. From his own shitty mouth!

Maybe some folks from Goldman need to share a stainless shitter!

So Mr. Viniar, while you are sitting on the cold stainless seat, remember when Goldman Sachs blew up their Global Equity Opportunities Fund? Anyone remember that? Let me go over the details of this shitty deal, because this fund, was another warehouse for Goldman's dreck.

In August of 2007, this fund needed a $3 billion cash infusion, to keep it afloat. So Goldman put in $2 billion, and they got Ace Greenberg and Eli Broad to ante up to make it $3 billion.

Now let me give you a timeline in this disaster. Remember that in July of 2007, after Paulson had shorted Abacus with Goldman's help, that Paulson's fund returned 75% that month. 

Now how did Goldman's Global Equity Opportunity Fund do in July of 2007? The same month Paulson's short fund went up 75%?

Aug. 13 (Bloomberg) -- Goldman Sachs Group Inc., the most profitable securities firm and second-largest hedge-fund manager, will invest about $2 billion to shore up its Global Equity Opportunities Fund after a 28 percent decline this month.

It dropped 28%! But Goldman said it was just a failed quant strategy!And what else did Goldman say? They said, "Current values that the market is assigning to the assets underlying various funds represent a discount that is not supported by the fundamentals."

Was that just another misrepresentation by Goldman? Really?

Even though Goldman was shorting the hell out of everything they could get their hands on, even though they were rigging deals to screw banks out of money, even though they were buying protection from anyone they could, and even though they were shuffling their shit, into GEO to screw their investors.

Think about that. It was a $7 billion fund? It was leveraged 3-6X. That means you  can offload a lot of Goldman's dreck to someone else! After all, didn't they just help Paulson to do that? Does anyone ever wonder how Goldman's clients do so poorly, why Goldman does so well? Goldman's clients, are its pigeons! And lest you think otherwise, why did a Goldman spokesperson say that the market's marks were misaligned? What good is a fund to Goldman, if they can't trade against it, or offload their shit to somebody else?

Because last I looked, in 2009 Goldman did a billion in fees biz, a billion in underwriting, and $17 billion trading against their clients! But they call that just making "markets!"

And then, coincidentally, after Goldman put their cash into the fund, and only after they had made some frantic and furious phone whereby it was relayed by Ben Bernanke  to Secretary Paulson, who then filled in Goldman that a discount rate cut was coming! And then, on option expiration Friday, on August 17th, Bernanke cuts the discount rates on option expiration Friday on August 17, 2007 right before the open, and only 10 days after the Fed said this:

For immediate release

The Federal Open Market Committee decided today to keep its target for the federal funds rate at 5-1/4 percent.

Now look what Karl Denninger had to say on August 17! He was talking language even Viniar could understand!

Flipout Friday!
Amazing shit here guys.
Bernanke. You gotta love the stupidity in the markets, and you really have to have respect for just how stupid Ben Bernanke is.

Cramer had this reaction:

Six days later after the FOMC decides to leave rates alone, Goldman needs to stuff a couple billion in a fund that they have buried their dreck in, that their unwitting patsy institutions took. Then miraculously, just four days after their investment, and just 10 days after the Fed said they didn't need to cut rates, the Fed cuts.

Now when did Goldman yank the money out that they put in this fund (GEO)? The day the six month lock-up expired! Wait--Viniar told us it wasn't a rescue--it was because of the opportunities available!

Goldman reclaims most of $2bn rescue funds
By James Mackintosh in London and Ben White in New York
Published: March 26 2008 22:04 | Last updated: March 26 2008 22:04

Goldman Sachs has reclaimed 90 per cent of the $2bn it used to bail out one of its troubled hedge funds last summer as the investment bank moved to shrink the fund and avoid consolidating it on its balance sheet.

Goldman withdrew $1.8bn from its Global Equity Opportunities fund at the end of February, its first opportunity under a lock-up agreement made when it invested in August, according to people familiar with the quantitative, or computer-driven, fund. It wrote to investors last week to explain its decision but declined to comment on Wednesday.

So what does this have to do with David Viniar? Well, look at his response to questions, when he was asked about the leverage in the fund, after it lost 28% in July, just six months before Goldman yanked out their money, and rigfht after Goldman decided to "rescue" the fund, they help drown!

"No, let me just clarify. This is not a rescue. This is two things. First, given the dislocation in the markets, we believe that this is a good investment opportunity for us and the other investors that we have brought in. We also think at the same time this will be very helpful to the current fund investors because it will give the fund the wherewithal to also take advantage of these market opportunities.

"And so we think it is both of those things but not a rescue."

So it was an investment and not a rescue? Was that true? Goldman withdrew their money the very first day after the lock-up.  So let's go to the conference call, led by David Viniar, so we can get just a little better explanation:

Susan Katzke, Credit Suisse:
Okay. And just I don't know if you covered this with Roger -- I might have missed it -- but in terms of the leverage in the funds, what are the leverage parameters, and where do you expect them to be going forward? Were they in retrospect a little bit higher than you would have liked them to have been or will be going forward?

David Viniar, Goldman Sachs CFO:
They were higher than we wished they were given how fast the market moved, but they were right in line with what had been expected. And the leverage at GEO as we sit here now is around 3.5 times, which is actually a little bit under where we had told people we would operate but probably around where we will operate going forward.

Susan Katzke, Credit Suisse:
Okay. And the 3.5 times just to clarify is with the $3 billion equity investment?

David Viniar, Goldman Sachs CFO:
With the equity investment.

Susan Katzke, Credit Suisse:
Okay. So closer to 6 times before that.

David Viniar, Goldman Sachs CFO:
That is correct.

Goldman's was in such a hurry to get rid of dreck off of their balance sheet, that they shoved it into their Global Equity Opportunity Fund, and leveraged it over 6 to 1 while they were at it.

Then, Goldman had to rescue the fund, (but they said it wasn't--it was an opportunity--It was an opportunity to cover up their misdealings!) because it was over-leveraged, but only after Goldman cohorts made their phone calls to Ben Bernanke and Paulson!

And then, David Viniar, tried to misrepresent Goldman's position, by saying that the fund was just 3.5X leveraged, when in fact, before Goldman's bailout, it was 6X leveraged, and that the underwater positions, they had, were just opportunities, when Goldman in fact, was shorting the piss out of everything they could that the fund owned!

And what happened to GEO? Goldman closed it at the end of 2009. They wanted those bodies buried.

So let's do an autopsy on GEO. Because this week, we heard, that Goldman, now wants to settle with the fund, that lost money on this "shitty" deal called Timberwolf:

He lost $56 million and Goldman wants to settle? How about the billions and billions they took from the institutions in GEO?  That served as a dumping ground for Goldman's dreck?

Why don't those funds ask for an autopsy? Why don't they sue? Then they'll see the self dealing that Goldman did. Because then, Goldman hadn't completely perfected the art of front running by computerized algorithms. They did things the old fashioned way. Using Slippery Simon's methods!

When Renaissance and Simon screwed investors, you got this picture.

Because then, the astrophysicists cooked up the scheme.

But Goldman? They are more traditional.

They put a suit on!

Do an autopsy on GEO, and Mr. Smug face, David Viniar, might start using a stainless toilet, along with the other folks from Goldman, who offloaded their positions into GEO.

And then, we'll see, that he, just like the other folks from Goldman, will inexplicably suffer from memory and recollection problems!

So give him a stainless toilet.

Maybe then he will use it to think!

The Heartland is getting back to work!

FLORA, Ill.—A year after the U.S. government swooped in to rescue two crippled auto giants, the car business is showing signs of life again—and so are local economies across the heartland that depend on it.

As soon as General Motors Co. and Chrysler Group LLC finished racing into and out of bankruptcy court last fall, orders for headlamps and other car parts began streaming back to two factories here in this southern Illinois hamlet. The factories quickly re-hired about 400 of their 550 laid-off workers, giving Flora, Pop. 4,772, a big shot in the arm.

Local businesses are perking up. The Best Western just outside town occasionally fills all 41 of its rooms again. And shoppers are less scarce in Joe Etchison's appliance store. "Last year, people were sticking with the basics and skipping the stainless-steel refrigerators," he said, walking his downtown showroom trailed by Taz, his dog. People have "figured out the world has not ended."

Similar scenes are playing out across the Midwest, where the speedy stabilization of GM and Chrysler appears to have helped towns tied to the auto industry to get back on their feet more quickly than they may have otherwise.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Baidu market

Bidu is up $100 in the pre-market to$720. Look at Cramer's take. He's Blodgeting BIDU!

Jim Cramer's Blog
Daily “Booyahs!”
Baidu Is Too Inexpensive
6:18 AM EDT
Baidu could get to $2,000 and be only one-third the size of Google despite its gigantic market. MoreMore


And you want to be short this market, when they are waving the pom poms like that??

Roubini gets theatrical, again

The bond vigilantes are walking out on Greece, Spain, Portugal, the U.K. and Iceland,” Roubini, 52, said yesterday during a panel discussion on financial markets at the Milken Institute Global Conference in Beverly Hills, California. “Unfortunately in the U.S., the bond-market vigilantes are not walking out.”

So Roubini wants the US to go to hell in a handbasket, so his hell in the handbaskets predictions won't be so wrong!

But it's not just his stock market predictions that have been so wrong. Remember what he said about the dollar? When that carry trade would unwide?

But one day this bubble will burst, leading to the biggest co-ordinated asset bust ever: if factors lead the dollar to reverse and suddenly appreciate – as was seen in previous reversals, such as the yen-funded carry trade – the leveraged carry trade will have to be suddenly closed as investors cover their dollar shorts. A stampede will occur as closing long leveraged risky asset positions across all asset classes funded by dollar shorts triggers a co-ordinated collapse of all those risky assets – equities, commodities, emerging market asset classes and credit instruments.

How did that work out?

We had a massive rally in the dollar, yet stocks are a smidge from new highs? And double the 600 on the S&P he said that stocks were going to!!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Mistress Money! $1 million for info on Obama's mistress, Vera Baker!

According to a new report, Republican operatives are looking to pay as much as $1 million to anyone willing to discuss the president's relationship with a 35 year old woman named Vera Baker.

And according to one weekly tabloid, Vera's limo driver is SNITCHING!!! Here's what Vera's limo driver is saying:

"I took [President Obama] to various locations while he was looking for campaign funds. Vera accompanied him to each meeting.

"About 10:30 pm, I drove them to the hotel and they went in together. She didn't ask me to wait or to be taken back to her friend's home - or to her home"

Look how much nicer the First Lady looks, now that the Prez isn't straying! Unless, she had some airbrushers working on her also! But unlike Nancy, maybe, it was on the before picture!

Remember when Obama was depressed, and I blamed it on Vera Baker's disappearance?

Now they want some money, and the Republicans are paying!

It looks like the stock market is making some Republicans sweat!

Friday, July 31, 2009

Obama's great Depression

What's with Obama saying that he saved us from the next "Great Depression?"

Didn't we have 10,000 banks fail in 1933? 25% unemployment?

Today Obama said they would continue the "cash for clunkers" program. But didn't car production drop 90% in the Great Depression?

Maybe it's time to bring Vera Baker back to perk up the President, so he'll quit miming Bernanke about how they saved us from Great Depression II!

How many airbrushers worked on Pelosi?

Over/under on Tiger's mistresses is now 121!

FOMC Statement

For immediate release

Information received since the Federal Open Market Committee met in March suggests that economic activity has continued to strengthen and that the labor market is beginning to improve. Growth in household spending has picked up recently but remains constrained by high unemployment, modest income growth, lower housing wealth, and tight credit. Business spending on equipment and software has risen significantly; however, investment in nonresidential structures is declining and employers remain reluctant to add to payrolls. Housing starts have edged up but remain at a depressed level. While bank lending continues to contract, financial market conditions remain supportive of economic growth. Although the pace of economic recovery is likely to be moderate for a time, the Committee anticipates a gradual return to higher levels of resource utilization in a context of price stability.

With substantial resource slack continuing to restrain cost pressures and longer-term inflation expectations stable, inflation is likely to be subdued for some time.

The Committee will maintain the target range for the federal funds rate at 0 to 1/4 percent and continues to anticipate that economic conditions, including low rates of resource utilization, subdued inflation trends, and stable inflation expectations, are likely to warrant exceptionally low levels of the federal funds rate for an extended period. The Committee will continue to monitor the economic outlook and financial developments and will employ its policy tools as necessary to promote economic recovery and price stability.

Noah's ark found?

A 450 foot rectangular boat with compartments 13,000 feet up on Mount Ararat in Turkey, that carbon dates to about 4,800 years old?

Here's what the Chinese papers say:
Now I don't know what these pictures really prove.

In fact you have this version of the above "facts"

"The photos were reputed to have been taken off site near the Black Sea, but the film footage the Chinese now have was shot on location on Mt. Ararat. In the late summer of 2008 ten Kurdish workers hired by Parasut, the guide used by the Chinese, are said to have planted large wood beams taken from an old structure in the Black Sea area (where the photos were originally taken) at the Mt. Ararat site. In the winter of 2008 a Chinese climber taken by Parasut’s men to the site saw the wood, but couldn’t get inside because of the severe weather conditions. During the summer of 2009 more wood was planted inside a cave at the site. The Chinese team went in the late summer of 2009 (I was there at the time and knew about the hoax) and was shown the cave with the wood and made their film. As I said, I have the photos of the inside of the so-called Ark (that show cobwebs in the corners of rafters – something just not possible in these conditions) and our Kurdish partner in Dogubabyazit (the village at the foot of Mt. Ararat) has all of the facts about the location, the men who planted the wood, and even the truck that transported it."

But irrespective of their story,  I'll still take Moses' version of the events of the flood. Yes, I buy into it.

So here's the Bible version:

Genesis 6:
15 This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high. 16 Make a roof for it and finish the ark to within 18 inches of the top. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks.

Genesis 7:
13 On that very day Noah and his sons, Shem, Ham and Japheth, together with his wife and the wives of his three sons, entered the ark.

Genesis 8:
4 and on the seventeenth day of the seventh month the ark came to rest on the mountains of Ararat.

So 8 people, go into the ark, the giant boat, that saved mankind from the flood.

So here's the Chinese word for boat.
So the Chinese word for boat, consists of the word vessel, eight and person/mouth. Coincidentally, eight people, went into the Ark, that was the vessel, that saved mankind from the flood.

And coincidentally, the Chinese word for boat, tells the story of Noah. Nice play for a myth.

Once again:

Genesis 7:13 says:

In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark.

The ark, was the vessel, that saved eight persons. You can do that math. It isn't to difficult--even for you scientists with your PHDs!

It was nice that this story was recorded in the Chinese characters whose language pre-dated Hebrew by about 700 years, so maybe you can forgive the Ark believers for chomping at the bit on this story.

Unless someone has a better explanation on why a 450 foot boat was found 2 1/2 miles up on the top of Mount Ararat, in Turkey.

Maybe they were just having an ice fishing contest!

North Carolina cracks down on thongs at the beach

(CNN) -- If you plan on going to Kure Beach, North Carolina, bring your sunscreen and shades, but please leave your thong behind.

The seaside community has adopted a zero tolerance policy on anyone wearing the barely-there bikini by the shore on their part of North Carolina's Pleasure Island, just south of Wilmington.

"You can do what you want to in your own space," said Mayor Dean Lambeth, "but for public decency, keep it off the public beach."

Lambeth told CNN he and the town supervisors last week unanimously approved the ordinance banning the skimpy bathing.

And that's the Wall Street argument.

Look what happens when you zealously regulate!

Goldman Sachs---A firm in decline

The hearing today, showed that Goldman, are at best, just skilled liars, and at worst, just hopelessly conflicted criminals.

The tinfoil hat folks were right. Goldman is just a giant squid, trying to suck out thelife and money out of anyone that comes in contact with them.

Goldman, supposedly with all the best and the brightest people in the world, all seem to suffer from recollection and memory problems, and all the while, working in isolation at Goldman!

And even Blankfein, supposedly didn't even know if Goldman has a SIV!

It is obvious that Goldman needs clients to trade order flow against, and that was apparent from the testimony today. They are just a big hedge fund, screwing over as much people as possible while staying lawyered and disclosured up.

All the folks that said Goldman were crooks, were right. Does Goldman, as a firm, really even need to exist?

This is the most storied firm in Wall Street? They are so storied that they can't even tell you if a deal "is shitty" even though the whole world knows it; nor can they even tell you if they would act in the best interest of the clients?

Today, the curtain was pulled away from Goldman. Today, you saw Oz. In Toto!

The veneer of respectability that Goldman had, was such a flimsy facade, and so inconsequential, that it was ripped away by Congressman!

Who for the most apart, didn't even understand the issues!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

US Steel sees profitable operations going forward

Looking ahead to the second quarter, Surma said, "We anticipate being profitable in all three of our operating segments in the second quarter of 2010 as gradually improving business conditions should be reflected in our operating results, most notably for our Flat-rolled segment.  We continue to experience healthy order rates from most of our end markets, resulting in increased production levels.  In North America, reported inventories in key end markets, such as automotive and service centers, remain below historical averages, as do flat-rolled product imports.  In Europe, imports have also remained below historical averages and reported inventories remain low across our end markets.  Our Tubular segment is also benefitting from both increased order rates, particularly for small diameter alloy oil country tubular goods (OCTG), and a continuing steady decline in reported U.S. OCTG inventory levels from the record highs of early 2009.  In summary, we remain cautiously optimistic in our outlook for end user demand for all three of our operating segments in line with a gradual and continuing economic recovery."

Everyone is now testifying about the fallout.

And everyone now says they saw something!

If you look close enough!

Jesus found on Google Earth farmland

He's just not on Capitol Hill testifying about doing God's work!

Cops raid Gizmodo editor's house after his Apple 4G iPhone story

They took his computer, server, and anything else related to the 4G iPhone.

Here was the story that got him raided.

What will the "Fabulous Fab" have to say about Abacus?

Monday, April 26, 2010

That's one sh*tty deal! So said Goldman!

April 26 (Bloomberg) -- Thomas Montag, the former head of sales and trading in the Americas at Goldman Sachs Group Inc., called a set of mortgage-linked investments sold by his firm “one shi**y deal,” according to an excerpt from internal e- mails released today by Senate lawmakers.

The transaction was Timberwolf Ltd., a $1 billion collateralized debt obligation holding pieces of other CDOs, according to a statement today from the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations. The CDO also included optimistic side-bets on the performance of CDOs, or derivatives, in which the firm took the opposite pessimistic side in “many” cases, the panel said.

“Boy that timberwo[l]f was one shi**y deal,” Montag, who is now Bank of America Corp.’s president of global banking and markets, said in a June 22, 2007, e-mail to Daniel Sparks, who ran Goldman Sachs’s mortgage business at the time, according to the panel’s statement. Within five months of Timberwolf’s debut, the CDO had lost 80 percent of its value, and it was liquidated in 2008, according to the panel.

I would say that calling an investment that loses 80% of its value in five months, was one sh*tty deal!

And Goldman, of course, had their hand in it!