Monday, January 11, 2010
The latest edicts from Goldman Sachs; after all it's "Bonus Season!"
Thusly, Goldman Sachs has adopted a couple of strategies.
The first one is to force charitable giving. From the NY Times:
As it prepares to pay out big bonuses to employees, Goldman Sachs is considering expanding a program that would require executives and top managers to give a certain percentage of their earnings to charity.
The move would be the latest in a series of initiatives by Goldman to soften criticism over the size of its bonuses, which are expected to be among the largest on Wall Street, bringing average pay to about $595,000 for each employee — with far higher amounts for top performers.
The second initiative, seems to have been only discovered by this blog. I hear that Goldman is going to pay the upfront cost and the monthly fees for the new life size Robotic sex doll, for the traders and bankers and lawyers, so Goldman's mistresses won't cause any embarrassment to the firm until at least bonus season is over.
Foxxy Roxxxy is 5'7" weighs 120 pounds and comes with 5 personalities. her race, breast size and hair colour can all be customized. She cost $7,000 and monthly fees are like credit default swaps. They're negotiated between parties!
Wild Wendy, is outgoing, Frigid Farah is reserved and shy, Mature Martha, is the "Abbey Cohen" version, and S&M Susan is for those who like whips.
We know that Goldman has been desirous of the GFE, so Lloyd is doing his best to help the folks at Goldman out!
After all, when you screw everybody on the Street, you want to pretend that it is at least friendly!
Or at least until bonus season is over!
Posted by Palmoni at 12:18 PM