Tuesday, March 31, 2009 If God had had the Internet, he could have rested on the fourth day. (Unless he had service from Time-Warner.)
Adam would have been computer-generated, photo-shopped, j-pegged and pinged in an HTML. His rib? Cut and pasted into Eve’s virtual pecs.
If the Disciples had blogged, the Gospels would have been posted--every four years… or so. In 400 word chapter and verse. Spell-check would have suggested replacing the begats and the haths. Would Matthew et al have auto-corrected? Without asking the Writers Guild if they had to?
If Moses and the Israelites had possessed “Final Cut Pro” (user’s manual on two tablets), the Red Sea would have parted digitally, perfectly. The polls, reflecting it, would have predicted another three or four centuries of cyber-sway for the Jews, give or take a margin of error of two or three tribes. YouTube would have offered five or six different videos of it.
The Black Plague might have been deleted. Hitler, isolated as a devastating virus. Hoover, spammed.
If Lincoln had twittered, the entire Gettysburg Address would be:
4 score & 7 yrs ago our fathrs brought 4th on this continent a nu nationr what for God’s sake? dont leave me hangn there, abe!
conceived in liberty and dedicated 2 the proposition that all men r
If FDR had texted, we’d have had nothng to fear xpt fear itslf.
If Congress created the world…………..
…we’d still be waiting for it.