Friday, April 17, 2009

The bears excess!

Just because Wall Street pays for sex, it doesn't mean Main Street does! And the Wall Street bears are suffering from a lack of excess! So for the Marc Drier's and Eliot Spitzers, and every hot shot trader that can't read between the lines, and just shells out some benjamins for some action, think back to when you didn't! And try and understand the difference between the bears excess and ex-sex!

Come on, everyone has had one of those days. You hook up with your ex and you go back to her place, and you think you're golden. But her roomate is there, who thinks she's better off without you, so you have to overcome that obstacle, and your ex wasn't drinking because she knows better off than doing that when she's with you. But it's late, and she goes upstairs to change, and she comes down with just a skimpy white top and shorts where you can get just a glimpse of what she's wearing underneath.

But her roomate won't leave!

So she gets out the air mattress. But before you can get p*ssed off, she starts showing you the moves she learned in yoga class, in her little t-shirt and shorts outfit. So you're thinking that's her code, to tell you, that when the roomate goes to bed, you get to go to town. So you play that game, and pretend you are going to sleep, while she goes upstairs to freshen up, and the roommate goes to bed.

And then, a few minutes later, you hear her door open, and she comes down to see you looking really hot, and she whispers, "Is she in bed yet?" And you tell her, she just shut her door, so she tiptoes back upstairs. And then you're thinking, that it will be even better, because you'll be able to piss off her roomate that you can't stand!

So a few minutes later, you hear the door open again, but instead of her coming down, it's her dog---and she says, "I just wanted you to have someone else to sleep with!"

And now you are lying there on that darn air mattress thinking there was no way that this was supposed to happen....if only the roomate wasn't there...if only we were drinking..if only! So instead of action, you just get a George Soros backache from the mattress!

And that's the same with Wall Street. The rules have changed and the bears just don't get it! But they still try! Just check out their Tuesday raid on Goldman or their Thursday raid on GOOG!

The bears don't understand that markets can move on without you!

They don't need your stories, or the rating agencies, or your naked shorts, or your blabber about credit default swaps, or your depression warnings. Heck it got soo bad, that it became cool to be a bear!

But didn't you check out how hot she looked?

Did you really think she was just going to wait for you?

And people want to own those stocks, dressed up in those little shorts and tight top!

The market has moved on without you!

And today, the hot little shorts are wrapped around GE and Citi--both numbers that were supposed to be toast!

GE has now doubled from it's lows, and Citi is now delaying it's convertible offer until the results of the stress test!

That's more pressure on the bears shorts!

With their new roommate watching!

Uncle Sam!


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