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Friday, July 10, 2009

Jamie Dimon the new Wall Street crybaby?

J.P. Morgan, doesn't want to accept the Government's valuation of the TARP warrants that the Government is giving, so he's looking to auction them off to see what the market price is.

From the WSJ:

"WASHINGTON -- Several Wall Street firms seeking to buy back warrants held by the government as part of the $700 billion financial bailout are complaining that the Treasury Department is demanding too high a price, according to people familiar with the matter.

The Treasury has rejected the vast majority of valuation proposals from banks, saying the firms are undervaluing what the warrants are worth, these people said."

Funny. JPM won't auction off any of their toxic loans to see what the market price is, but he'll let a cynical stock market, determine the valuation of the TARP warrants. But ask JPMorgan what a"phony" derivative contract is worth, and they'll give you a price in five minutes!

Remember last month, when he asked the Government to "forgive" half of the warrants?

Mr. Dimon said that he did not know how much they would wind up costing the bank, although he argued the government should cancel half “out of fairness” since new restrictions and a change in public perception had stigmatized the program.

Of course, Dimon said they never needed the money. Even though they had $10+ billion of undisclosed HELOC losses on their balance sheet.

Whatever.

Dimon is lucky that the strike price on the warrants is $42.42. Use the Capital Purchase Program date of Feb. 9, and the 20 day average stock price, multiplied by .90%, and the strike price would be cut in half. Apparently Mr. Dimon forgot that JPM was trading at 18, only 14 trading days before February 9! He should thank his lucky stars that Treasury bailed JPM out first, on the first signing of October 26, 2008. You can see that contract here.

But what has JPMorgan done for loan modifications? Remember the "sanctity of contracts?" How about the contract with the taxpayer? Now he wants to cancel out half? Out of fairness? Show me one measly mortgage where JPM has cancelled out half of the remaining balance in a modification.

How about my neighbor? With the second liver transplant? What did he get? He was on his deathbed, and he got only three months of a half price mortgage payment. How about "fairness?" And Jamie Dimon, who couldn't carry his shoes, because he can't even carry his own umbrella, talks about fairness?

So JPM, with trillions and trillions of derivatives on its balance sheet, can't even come up with an amicable valuation for 88,401,967 warrants of JPM at a strike of $42.42 ten years out?

What bullsh*t.

So now we see Dimon, in the role of crybaby. In fairness, even Oliver "The Atomic Bull" McCall cried in a fight! Fortune magazine had Dimon on the cover as "the toughest guy on Wall Street" yet he can't carry his own umbrella. The boxer in Dealbreaker. Who works out by punching the bag.

And now he wants to bag the taxpayer with TARP warrants.

Well, I'm a taxpayer.

So it would sure be nice, to be able to settle things with Dimon at B.B. Kings Blues Club & Grill.

At least then, Jamie could rightfully complain about "unfairness!"