Saturday, January 24, 2009

With apologies to Carly Simon, "You're John Thain"

Bloggers paroday John Thain in songs:

You waltzed into the Bail Out party
Like you were sailing on an unsinkable yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was really hiding a mega Merrill subprime surprise
You had one eye on the Level III mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all those second rate Charlotte Bankers dreamed that they’d be your partner
They’d be your partner, and

You’re John Thain
And yes this song is about you
Don’t complain
I’ll bet you thought B of A couldn't live without you
Without you? Without you?

You had Ken Lewis several months ago
When he was so naive its hard to believe
Well, you said that the Thundering Herd would make an awesome notch on his sleeve
And that you John Thain would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was a 10 Million Dollar bonus snub
And good ol Ken’s grandiose dreams turned out to be clouds in his bailout coffee
Clouds in his bailout coffee, and

You’re John Thain
And yes this song is about you
You’re John Thain
I’ll bet you thought B of A couldn’t live without you
Without you? Without you?

http://blogs.wsj.com/deals/2009/01/22/john-thain-then-and-now/

And journalists want him to go to jail:

Bank of America's John Thain should go to jail

By Yael T. Abouhalkah, Kansas City Star Editorial Page columnist

John Thain has become the poster child for an American banking system that's full of greedy, money-hungry people unwilling to change their ways.

The key questions now:

-- Did Thain, who resigned Thursday from Bank of America, essentially use taxpayer funds last winter to unethically reward employees of his former company, Merrill Lynch?

-- Can prosecutors charge Thain with stealing and put him in jail to be an example to the other greedy bankers out there?

The answer to the first question appears to be a resounding yes.

The second answer is more unclear, but I sure hope Congress and prosecutors try hard to see whether Thain should serve some jail time for his actions.

Thain resigned from his high-ranking post at Bank of America after it was disclosed he had given billions in bonuses last winter to Merrill Lynch employees.

At the time, Thain ran Merrill Lynch, which was being taken over (with the help of a U.S. bailout) by Bank of America.

The federal government has given Bank of America tens of billions of dollars to help prop up the company.

And -- key point here -- some of that money has gone to help prop up the bank after it bought the financially beleaguered Merrill Lynch.

Why was Merrill Lynch in so much financial trouble? Partly because of the billions in bonuses given out by Thain.

Essentially, then, Thain's actions could be seen as costing American taxpayers billions of dollars, since that was the cost of the bonuses given to employees.

http://voices.kansascity.com/node/3413

Now we see that in John Thain's live of excess he didn't even purchase a jar of honey at the local supermarket. He even had his own beehives:

The size of his private home in Rye, a country village in New York's Westchester County, is testament to that. It is so big, in fact, that he pays property taxes in excess of $150,000 a year in two different towns 34 - Harrison and the City of Rye. The property is so big that it also sneaks across the boundary of Rye Brook, another village.

The $10 million mansion, in at least 10 acres of grounds, includes a small farm and several beehives, from which Thain used to collect honey with his youngest son each morning. It has 14 bedrooms and two swimming pools. A river runs through his back garden, feeding a lake stocked with fish.

But Thain's country home's worth is small compared with the $27.5 million
he has just spent on a two-storey luxury apartment on Park Avenue in Manhattan.
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23421519-details/Already+fabulously+rich,+Thain+will+relish+test+as+boss+of+Merrill/article.do

And now we find out that John Thain's next complaint is that a trip to the World Economic Forum in Davos won't be on the BofA credit card!

But "You're John Thain...."

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